Wayward Newlyweds - A Rant

What’s in a Name?

The world is slowly coming back to normal after the whirlwind of adventure and an August that felt like it evaporated in no time. The Pagan English Teacher is back at school, and her husband is finishing up the honey season in Ontario. All fairly normal things.

After the first week of school, and the routine starting up again I have started organizing little projects I wanted to work on once I got home. One of those projects is to start my name change process. I had not done a lot of in-depth research into this before getting married. I knew what I wanted to do and figured I could just work it out once everything was settled and could focus on all the little bits and pieces. Unfortunately, this seems to not be the case.

After some research over the last few days I have learned that BC’s name laws are ridiculous and antiquated. In BC you need to go through a full LEGAL name change process just to add you spouses name to your either as a hyphenated name or adding your maiden name as a middle name. A full legal name change includes changing your birth certificate and all other official documents, as well as paying $140 fee for this to happen. I have known ever since Dodd proposed that I wanted to keep my maiden name in some way. In my immediate family, there is no one to keep Millard for the next generation, so I wanted to do keep it as an attachment to my family. Now I am a bit hesitant to do this. I find the need to completely erase your passed identity in order to keep a piece of it in addition to taking your husbands name absolutely ridiculous. After some quick searches, I found that I am not alone in this opinion. What I also discovered is that BC is the only province that still has Name Laws like this.

So now I have a choice to make. Do I wait and see if BC can get rid of this antiquated law, and just go informally by my married name but keep my maiden name my legal name, or do I just bite the bullet and erase Andrea Millard, and become Andrea Millard Cutler in all ways? To tell the truth, I was a bit surprised by my emotional reaction to learning these details. I was really upset by the fact that in order to take my husbands name, which I really want to do, as well as keep my maiden name in some way, which I really want to do, I have to pay for it, and essentially get rid of the name my parents gave me. I have to get a new birth certificate, which invalidates the one my parents have kept and cherished for 30 years. I hate that this is a decision that has been put on me, and many other women who want to keep a piece of their heritage and identity before marriage alive, and still honour the union they have committed to. Yes, I do understand that this does not only apply to women, but there is a disproportionate number of women who would have to face this, and that makes me sad and more than a little angry.

It is time for BC to get this antiquated Name Act up to date and in line with current practices and wishes of those of us who choose to change our names but keep some of our unmarried identity.

As always,

Cheers

Sláinte

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